Monday, November 16, 2015

WARNING!!! RANT INCOMING. Why I'm annoyed at a local grocery store.

     Usually I write positive, heartfelt, pieces about things that inspire me. Food, people, travel, the theatre. Today I’m going to rant about a place that’s been bugging me for awhile.

     It’s a local grocery store that I won't name.

     It’s Giant Eagle’s snobby sister.

     Why can’t you hire some baggers, UNNAMED GROCERY STORE ? I don’t want to spend fifteen minutes in the checkout lane while your friendly cashiers study every third item they ring up from my order. I’m not interested in sharing recipes in the grocery lane. I do that on my blog. Not only do they ask what I’m going to use the Thai coconut curry sauce for, but they then take forever to file it neatly into just the right cheap plastic bag. One cashier and one bagger for each cash register. That’s all I’m asking for.

     In most people’s opinions, this UNNAMED GROCERY STORE’S prices are high compared to other stores. In fact, in April 2015, ranked Giant Eagle stores in general among the grocery store chains with the “worst prices in the nation.” With such high prices, this store should be able to afford to pay baggers. Give a high school kid a job for goodness sakes! Quit spending profit to pay the tuxedo-clad piano player who’s pounding out Beethoven’s 9th and clogging up lane 15. Use the surplus cash to pay a bagger.  Your less fancy counterpart doesn’t have a string section in the dairy aisle, but guess what they have.

     There’s a laundry list of reasons that this particular grocery store gets on my nerves.  I’ll point out just a few.

     There are always at least a bazillion workers re-stocking in every section. They tote extra-wide bins that are nearly impossible to navigate a shopping cart around. Less stockers. More baggers.

     Every lane has a ridiculous amount of minutiae piled on brand new fashionably rustic shelves, obstructing cart traffic and causing lines of shoppers to develop on either side of these super-practical things they’re offering. Things like raspberry scented dog toothpaste or toaster covers with Justin Bieber’s face silk screened onto them. Can’t live without these things.

     There’s no great magazine section and very few greeting cards to pick from, but UNNAMED GROCERY STORE sells ostrich eggs.  Giant alien-looking eggs that are draped in fake straw and marketed to shoppers in farmy-looking yellowish baskets that are probably made in China. Why such a crappy greeting card section, UNNAMED GROCERY STORE? Is your target market seriously more likely to buy an ostrich egg than a birthday card?

     Just quit purchasing the weird stuff. Quit stopping up my shopping trip with grumpy stockers. Quit training your cashiers to allay their customers’ annoyance with goofy chatter.

     Hire baggers.

     End of rant.

     DISCLAIMER: In no way am I bashing someone for buying an ostrich egg. I like exotic foods. Also, raspberry dog toothpaste is fine. Justin Bieber toaster covers – not cool.




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